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I just found out people are playing golf online. And I thought my life sucked!
Perhaps your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others
Just googled "who gives a sh!t?" My name wasn`t in the search results.
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
Somebody is out there, somewhere, thinking of the impact you`ve made in their life. It`s not me. I think your an idiot.
I always see more people walking into Sam`s Club than out of Sam`s Club, but the meat`s cheap, so I don`t ask questions.
I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him.
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
Chess says everything about men and women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
Everyday I run into someone who pushes me past the limits of my medication.
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
Just once I want to see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
If you cry loudly enough, your boss will usually let you go home.
Let’s be the generation that stops putting things in our butts and having to go to the emergency room to get them taken out, shall we?
I`m old enough to remember when having a long cord on the home phone was privacy.