Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
feels like I`m forgetting to flip someone off today.
I think ugly people have children just to prove to everyone they had sex.
I hate it when you can’t find your phone because you left it someplace stupid like in the car or your non-dominant hand.
I always tell my kids that it`s ok to make mistakes as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.
I walked into SeaWorld with a fishing pole once. I gotta tell ya, those security guards can really run.
Neighbor said hi again. I`m just gonna move
Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
Don`t refer to them as voices in your head. Do as the professionals and call them your `team of writers`
You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning.
You don`t know true competition until you`re one of the last two people in musical chairs.
I`d save a lot more money on car insurance if they quit spending billions on advertising.
I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I’m going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.
My ex was an absolute treasure and by treasure I mean you`ll need a shovel and map to find him.