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You know its cold out ......when you go outside..... and it`s cold out
Women can brutally and methodically destroy your life. But they let you see their tits along the way so it`s totally cool.
It saddens me to say that after tasting this homemade whiskey/nacho cheese ice cream, I’ve found not all dreams are meant to be followed.
Holding my breath until someone likes this status.
i hope your life is as long and useful as this roll of toilet paper!!!
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
The reason grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup are such a great combination is because they are the same basic ingredients as pizza.
First thing I do in the morning: Look at the clock and hope I have more time to sleep.
Redneck WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My girlfriend gets mad and I don`t even know water problem is!
It`s the weekend!!! I haven`t been this excited since my phone got stuck on vibrate.
WARNING: Every single thing I post from here on in, is alcohol induced.
An important phone call is something that occurs when there`s no better excuse to ignore someone.
When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can`t get any worse, please remember...I don`t give a s$it.
Never make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for longer than 6 months.
thjeo oskl asopa joa sajksla wioj apska shul bhcgy ....Yes I just wasted your time ;)