Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s the getting ahead that I’m running behind on.
Happy President`s day all. Heading out to buy a new mattress.
As a man I am so thankful I don`t have to give birth. I could never go nine months without drinking.
Her (from the living room): What time is it out there? Me (in the kitchen): Same time as it is in there.
I always push when I should pull. I have doorlexia.
Guacamole is my favorite food that looks like someone already ate it.
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
If I look tired at the end of the day, it`s because I just spent eight solid hours looking busy.
I love talking about nothing. It’s the only thing I know anything about.
"I can`t believe it`s not clutter." ~ A recovering hoarder
Women are so silly sometimes, thinking men actually care if they fake it.
People say laughter is the best medicine, but I’d like to think a beer is the way to go.
Time to walk the cow and milk the dog, Happy Hump Day!
*Goes to the gym. Takes a selfie in front of the weights. Leaves.
The point of no return sounds like a fun vacation spot.