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What I lack in height, I make up for in kitchen counter climbing ability.
Pretty fed up with the fact that pandemonium almost NEVER involves pandas.
Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
Don`t worry about old age, it doesn`t last that long.
I`m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering every question!!!
I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant
My life may be a mess but at least I didn`t make a harlem shake video.
Iām not high maintenance, but rather precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
Uses for the plastic ruler..... 5% to draw stright lines 95 % to hit people.
When I`m home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.
Hey ladies, tired of your man complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints.
I just want you to be happy. And naked.
You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancee by the way he hasn`t murdered her