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And, yet another day I’ve gone without using calculus.
I hate grocery shopping. That`s why I just steal a full cart when somebody turns away. I never know what I`m getting, but it sure is faster.
Ha! Who`s laughing now, f*ckers that took your Christmas lights down last year!
Girl: I am not having having s@x with guys at the moment. Boy:I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue
When a movie says "Based on a true story." it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people.
I don`t live paycheck to paycheck. I live paycheck to four days before paycheck...
Coffee: So I can do nothing with more energy.
I`ve never done any mistake twice... three, four times may be!
What if Oxygen makes our voice really deep…. And Helium just brings it back to normal?
Dance like no one´s going to put it on YouTube.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
The best part of winter coming is that all the bugs are rotting in hell where they belong.
If I ever start a band, I`m going to call it The Voices in My Head. Think of all the fun ways you can tell other people what you`re listening to...
If stress burned calories, I’d be a super model.
I turned out ok for a kid raised in a large part by Bugs Bunny.