Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
Do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren`t talking?
I`m at the "what can I make with green beans and cake mix" stage of needing groceries
Sorry I wasnβt ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found.
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
Dating Tip: If you eat a magnet and slip another magnet into your date`s drink she`ll never be able to leave you
"Dont make me regret this!" is something I say to myself every time I accept a facebook friendship from a relative.
I`m working out my budget and, provided I don`t live past Tuesday, I can retire relatively comfortably!!!
My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell, well he actually told me to eat "less McDonalds" but I`m pretty sure I know what he meant.
In a 500-day period I could theoretically meet someone, get married, have a baby, and get divorcedβand yet Iβd still be using the same box of Q-tips.
I always wince when someone tells me theyβre going to hit the sack.
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME stuff why didnβt he just buy dinner?
Deep down I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
Early reports indicate I`m gonna be drunk all weekend.
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.