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Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
I read that a banana a day will help keep your colon clean. I just wish they would’ve mentioned that you’re supposed to eat them.....
My mom put shredded carrots in our Jello, so don`t tell me about your rough childhood.
Just did 100 crunches. Crumbs everywhere.
If you’re not fully satisfied with your life, do something about it. Or complain about it on the internet. Whatever you prefer.
Nice try butter flavored pancake syrup, but I`m still putting butter on them!!
You tell me I`m crazy, the voices tell me I`m not. 4 against 1, so........
Sticks and stones, break my bones, but hollow points expand on impact!
My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
Don`t talk to me about hard times. My dog just licked the last piece of pizza.
I laughed more at the Broncos offense then I did at the commercials.
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
I will be responsible for my actions....when my actions become more responsible.
uncle Sam can`t be related to me because family wouldn`t do me like this.
"I can`t wait for New Years to be over!" -my liver