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People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
Just seen the new Batman shampoo in Costco. I can`t believe they haven`t paired it up with a conditioner Gordon.
"The more the merrier!" usually means "oh, you overheard us making those plans, huh?"
I`m not a doctor but I play one on Match.com
I wish more of my handcuff stories involved sex instead of police officers.
Sarcasm and orgasm. Two things most people don`t get. Those who do are smiling right now.
A fun thing to do is comment "that ain`t the girl you were with at the bar the other night" on all my married friends Facebook family photos
I watched the deleted scenes from a porno last night. Turns out he ended up fixing the washing machine after all.
so apparently there is no such thing as a St Patrick`s Santa and I`m not sure whose lap I just sat on at the mall.
The worst job to have right about now would be that of a realtor in Ferguson.
Life is far too short to remove the USB safely.
YouTube "This video is not available in your country". where the hell am I from? NARNIA?
Magic words that make my children disappear: 1) Bath time. 2) Who did this?!?! 3) When I was your age...
If I knew how to backflip, I`d never walk anywhere.
Fun Fact: You can win all arguments with your man by putting on yoga pants and walking away.