Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How come when a girl has sex with everyone she`s a slut but when a guy has sex with everyone he`s my boyfriend
I bet the hardest part of working the poison control hotline is not finishing your sentences with "...you ignorant dumbass"
I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Isn`t it ironic that crocodiles like water and people who wear Crocs are douchbags. Ok, maybe I don`t know what ironic means.
LIKE IF you… walk into a room, forget what you need, walk out, and then remember.
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
If it was the other way around, I doubt one cat would take in 23 old ladies.
My kids are always accusing me of having a "favorite child" which is ridiculous because I don`t really like any of them.
I would know if I was insane, the voices would tell me.
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I`m healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to
For some reason I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why
Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..
The fastest way to being happy is to make other people happy. You go first.
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!