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I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
It`s pretty cool how vodka always has such `great` ideas.
Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
Okay, calm down. Its a spider. Just one tiny litt- HOLY MOLY IT MOVED!
It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Except when you’re heading to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea.
I don’t really forgive people I just pretend like it`s okay and wait for my opportunity to destroy them.
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There`s liquor and you can`t hear them.
For the record when I was a kid I never wanted to be an adult.
If you go shopping at Walmart and no one stares at you as you walk by, you`re one of them.
“FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!” – Mother Nature
Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window... If it gets any worse, I`ll have to let her in.
I won $20 by not playing the lottery last night!
C`mon Netflix, we both know I`m watching the next episode. Just go ahead and start it.
If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?
There are 10 types of people in the world, Those that understand binary, and those who don`t.