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Winter needs to calm the f*ck down
Only 3 things can make me run. When someone yells, "Fire", "Free beer" or "The free beer is on fire”
Happy July 22nd! Today isn’t a holiday, but you’re alive and well, so why not celebrate?
Don`t act like your not impressed.
Where did Noah keep his bees? ... In the ark hives ... Yes, I`m showing myself out, thanks
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!
A new day : the possibilities, endless. the funds, insufficient.
I`ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."
My number was 0...
That awkward moment when the creepy guy in the white van doesn`t have candy...
every woman iz beautuful n her unique way, smtimz it needs sm amount of alcohol to see with
Life is not like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your a$$ tomorrow.
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.
I didn`t know until this week that so many people I know are politicians...