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Wow!!, What a day..I volunteered at a soup kitchen, mowed my lawn, went to 2 Birthday parties, ran 6 miles, then told a bunch of lies on Facebook.
A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn`t answer the phone.
Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you`ll get if you`re able to "fall asleep right now."
Free will is good, but free pizza is better.
I`d be vegetarian ... if bacon grew on trees.
Everything is so much funnier when you`re not allowed to laugh.
I`d do anything to lose 20lbs. Well, except for eating healthy or working out.
Often think if I`d taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.
Sorry I just saw your text from last night, are you guys still at the restaurant
Marriage Tip: If your husband is watching golf, show him you`re interested by repeatedly asking "why doesn`t our lawn ever look that nice?"
If God didn`t want us to eat Animals he wouldn`t made them out of meat.
Serving size ?? LMAO
I think New York has reached the point where it can finally be called York.
5 symptoms of laziness –> 1.
Hillary Clinton is running for president. In other news, grass is green and the sun is hot.