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The only thing worse than dramatic girls facebook statuses…dramatic guys Facebook statuses.
How ignorant do I have to be before I start experiencing bliss?
Highschool Reunion? What for ? I`m on Facebook. I already know who got fat.
Forecast for tonight: Dark.
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
Dating Tip: If she hasn`t kissed you by the third date, she`s there for the food.
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn`t what I thought it was.
Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.
In my experience, temporary insanity can last a long time.
If you put Root Beer in a square glass do you get Beer?
One of us spends too much time on Facebook.
I`m fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest any of you in despair and disappointment?
What did the crop say to the farmer? Stop picking on me
My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it`s because she`s a big dumb stinky head that`s jealous of my awesome Transformers collection.
No matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s I’m still gonna eat it.