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I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
Sometimes I just go to work for the free internet.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`
This is why my kids dont take me places anymore ... Waitress: “Do u have any questions about the menu?” Me: ” Yes, What kind of font is this?”
You can`t be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn`t work that way...your already hard to want
You don`t have to be crazy to work here ... We`ll train you.
If you`re having second thoughts, you`re 2 ahead of most people.
It`s depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
I`m not the cat lady type. I`m more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoe.
I sure do feel a whole lot more attractive at WalMart than I do at the gym.
Nothing says "under the thumb" like a joint Facebook account
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off your life.... Based on the math, I should have died in 1732.