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If you`re going to be a d!ck.. At least be a big one.
What if Egyptians actually had a written language, then started using emojis, and that’s all that’s left?
Here is your New Years Resolution. All of that stupid sh!t you did last year? Don’t do that crap this year. Done. You’re welcome.
With all the technology these days, you`d think they would come up with an Online Gym where losing weight would be a click away
Everytime I see a mattress tied to the top of a car, I think….there’s another prostitute making a house call……
I guess not everyone at this grocery store is as comfortable with my nudity as I am. ;)
Sometimes I like to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and think what it would be like to stare at other ceilings.
Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. Koalas will be koalas. Just about everything will be the things they are. That`s how this works.
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
I only hate the people in front of me while checking out at the store. Everyone behind me is cool.
This strip mall certainly is misleading And I probably should put my clothes back on now.
thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
Yeah, I was gonna do that, but summer.
It`s called NASCAR because that`s the way a hillbilly pronounces "nice car"
Friending someone on Facebook and complaining about what they post is like phoning someone to tell them you don’t want to talk to them.