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Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime.
I`d rather spend 5 minutes reorganizing the dishwasher, than spend the 10 seconds it takes to wash the dish that doesn`t fit.
This headache feels like dumb people
Why do they call a grapefruit a grapefruit? I mean there is already a fruit called a grape!!
No PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on Facebook.
I`m not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom.
Pro tip for picking up girls - keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I am going to the liquor store and I`m scared that it`s closed.
"Don`t try this at home"...Okay, i`ll try it at my friend`s house..
Yea, there is no "I" in team... but there sure is "ME".
I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
Just once I`d like to walk down the aisle, take my vows, say I do...Without being dragged out being told, "Ma`am, you`re not the bride..."
Years ago I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today I asked her to marry me ... She said no both times