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What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin? (asking for a friend)
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
If they just built prisons out of the sh!t they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
I just scrolled so far back on Facebook`s Timeline... I wound up back over on MySpace. :(
I`m an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.
"I believe I can fry" - R Kelly filling out McDonald`s application
I`m fortunate that anger and nicotine have zero calories.
I think I`m gonna glue my thumbs to my nipples and pretend I`m a T-Rex.
I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.
If you like counting to three, you are going to love parenting.
A fun thing to do is take a group picture at a party. Then leave & print it at Walgreens. Buy a frame, go back to party, & place it on the mantel at the party.
There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
OK look, if I meet you for a date and you don`t look anything like your pic, then you`re buying drinks for me until you do.
It`s funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my
I like to finish other people`s sentences because my version is better.