Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
I don`t get offered drugs nearly as often as D.A.R.E. said I would.
The best moments in life are the ones you don`t tell anyone about.
The invention of the shovel must have been ground-breaking.
I broke up with my cross-eyed girlfriend today.......i felt like that bitch was seeing someone else.
E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight.
This haunted house sucks. It`s just people sitting in cubicles under fluorescent lights looking sad. Wait, I`m at work, sorry.
I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout.
"Dora" only rhymes with "Explorer" if you`re from Long Island, New York
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
Have you tried complaining about it for hours?
My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I`m Just Napping
Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
I hope my liquor store is having an after Christmas sale!!