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When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.
Don`t be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem.
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me
Objects in spandex are larger than they appear
"Does this dress make me look fat?"-- Now, what I SHOULD have said was, "No, dear! You are little black dress approved!" but what came out was, "When did your bum move to the front?"
Her: I love it when we finish each other`s Him: pancakes
I`m under the weather today, also so is everyone else, that`s how weather works.
When I was growing up, I was taught to walk and talk and when I was grown, I was told to sit down and STFU!!!
It`s not that I like watching midget porn, it`s just that my phone screen is too small to watch regular porn.
If it`s true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?
Celebrate Valentines Day responsibly, or you`ll be celebrating Thanksgiving in a maternity ward
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking
Never underestimate the power of cleavage.
I`m not sarcastic…I`m just intellegent beyond your understanding.
Try this... When leaving a fancy restaurant tell the people coming in "I recommend you try the donkey, snail or the squirrel".