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Not to brag, but I`m pretty good in bed. I don`t snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.
I`ve learned to take life as it comes...straight with no chaser.....
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
If you want to set up a company and run it then that`s your business.
My favorite thing about winter...waking up from hibernation!
I ran into a dwarfs car this morning and he come up to me and said "I`m not happy!" And I said we`ll which one are you then
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who really do.
Your mother never saw the irony in calling you son of a bitch.
Taken names of employees from various stores and calling in sick for them, just to make it feel like I have a job. . .
Research shows that when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" he infact did.
I`ve stopped drinking for good. I only drink for evil now.
AWESOME!
I feel sorry for people who take everything way too seriously.
If you read my entire Facebook timeline from the beginning, you can witness my descent into madness
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.