Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In a weird twist,,, The longer I stay at home,,, The more homeless I look.
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started.
Marriage is just a 50 year long negotiation over thermostat settings.
I can’t hang out tonight because I’m done with people for the day.
The key to successful relationships is not to start any.
This jar of peanut butter says "may contain nuts" on it. Remember when survival of the fittest was a thing? Good times.
Remember ... I can always make it look like an accident.
If goldfish crackers actually tasted like goldfish-- wait, I just realized I`ve never tasted a goldfish. What if the crackers are accurate?
Beer: Giving you the courage to talk to women but taking away the ability to make sense.
Why don`t family members send me money for my birthday anymore? I need it now more than when I was 7
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
If you boil a clown, do you get laughing stock?
Anyone else pretend to work all day while thinking about big boobs instead?