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Let me be clear, I don`t want to die alone. However I want to be left completely alone until that moment
If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it`s working.
No one sees you when you`re kind, no one sees you when you do a nice thing, but all will see on you when you fart.
For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
The more you know. Daylight Savings started back in 1964 when Jerry Daylight Savings was an hour late for work & convinced his boss all the clocks were wrong.
Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.
They should make a medal for anyone who uses an entire tube of chapstick without losing it.
My brain is giving me the silent treatment
This week’s weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs.
I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.
The question isn’t who is going to let you; it’s who is going to stop you.
Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Take a moment and make that sh!t perfect.
All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society`s way of preparing you for your driver`s license photo.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
I`m that friend you have to explain to people before you introduce me... And apologize for after.