Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.
What kind of paperwork do I need to fill out to get a permit to set my children free in the wild?
Who the hell is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?
So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
Some things are better left unsaid...That`s usually the stuff I blurt out right away.
I did responsible things all day so tonight will consist of nothing that even resembles responsibility.
Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn`t have.
Irish Handcuffs: Holding a beer in each hand.
So.. who else is sleeping naked tonight?
I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
What if , one day you randomly wake up and realize that you`re whole life was just a dream.
I`m CDO. It`s like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!!
This isn`t a bakery. We don`t sugarcoat sh!t