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Seems like everyone is either trying to pretend they have the life they want, or escape the life they have.
I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I`m sexy!" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!
I`m just standing here...50 yards away, waiting for the restraining order to expire.
My idiot future husband is out there somewhere pushing a pull door. I just know it.
It`s finally here! .. That time of year when my seasonal depression turns into just regular depression.
Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a zombie in the apocalypse is all the walking.
The rare times my cat approaches me for affection, I run away and hide under the bed so she knows what that feels like.
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
My chiropractor just told me that I`m well adjusted. See? Not everyone thinks I`m a total weirdo...
Oops, just bought vodka instead of milk again
Don’t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I’ve changed since then.
One thing that I have never had in the glove box of my car, is a pair of gloves.
Snails would be terrifying if they moved quickly.
So far this is the oldest I`ve ever been.
Your secrets are safe with me! Odds are, I wasn’t even listening.