Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
Detective: “The victim musta had company. There’s 2 dirty plates in the sink.” If I ever get murdered they’ll think I had 16 people over.
I hate it when people beg for likes, like if you agree?
The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.
Studies show that 5 out of 6 people enjoy Russian roulette.
If you ever need anything please don`t hesitate to ask someone else first.
Monday must be a man ... It comes too quickly.
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."
If I knew how to backflip, I`d never walk anywhere.
My illusion of having the Force is crushed the minute the remote is slightly out of reach.
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she cuts your brake lines.
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
ATM`s need to have breathalyzers.
Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride