Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Change of plans everyone: NOBODY Wang Chung tonight.
I wanted to say thank you to all the people who gave me a reason to drink this Friday night.
To me, suicide seems selfish. For all I know, someone else might want to kill me
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
A drunk man walks into a bar...but enough about me...
My life coach is the cashier at the liquor store.
When I was young I could climb mountains, these days I have to steady myself to fart.
I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself. Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?
I lost a very close friend and drinking partner last week. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.
Woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on my face....damn kids and thier sharpies.
People who copy and paste jokes from other’s status messages are idiots…A few seconds ago • Like • Comment
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
Insomnia improves your math skills. You spend all night calculating how much sleep you`ll get if you "fall asleep right now".
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
Dear small line of dirt that wont go in the dustpan… Screw you.