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I always keep a google search for "how to find anyone, anywhere, and kill them" open on my phone in case anyone steals it.
Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
I like it like that
Mary, mary quit contrary, watched their garden thrive. The cops found seed of a very odd weed; Now they`s doing three to five.
I hate it when people are holding a device capable of using google and they ask me stupid questions.
I only seem to remember I want to lose weight after eating 6 cookies.
It`s amazing how I come up with my best status updates when I`m in the shower or when I`m driving. I think it has a lot to do with me being naked.
The mind is like a parachute .... It doesn`t work if it isn`t open.
Seems like you must have been pretty stupid to get caught for murder in the 1800s
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
just keep scrolling nothing to see hear
I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.