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whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots
My mom never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
Why is it that the more annoying the tune, the harder it is to get it out of your head?
I feel so stupid for cashing in my retirement account early. But then I always feel stupid using the Coinstar machine.
My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell, well he actually told me to eat "less McDonalds" but I`m pretty sure I know what he meant.
It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim.
My lack of dusting will finally pay off on Halloween.
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME stuff why didn’t he just buy dinner?
I`ve found the most effective way to get an attractive guy to fall for me is by simply using my charm... and then a stun gun.
Well I just finished up some spring cleaning. Holy crap, owning a Slinky can be such a hassle.
If I`m in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet
"If your reading this, I think your awesome!"
If Reincarnation ends up being real... Those People who got "YOLO" tattoos are going to look... Pretty Silly
What doesn`t kill you, will hopefully try again
True love is when you burn your tongue when you take a bite from a pizza and you still keep eating it.