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Facebook game requests are like the Jehovah`s witnesses of the internet.
Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
Do you know what would really be fun? ... No really.. If you know, tell me.. I`m bored to death.
I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
When a woman asks you to guess her age, it`s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb
It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
During sex, my wife always wants to talk to me? Just the other night she called me from some hotel.
I hope to get to the point in my life where I`m not excited about finding change on the ground.
I`m thinkin` Dodgeball........... but with random people..........who don`t know they are playing.............
Do you think people in Mexico ever say, "Those jobs keep stealing all our Mexic?ns!"
This bar doesn’t know it yet, but it’s about to be karaoke night.
Things could be worse ... sex could be fattening
My bank statement is just a visual record of bad decisions.
you know hes a keeper when you know his facebook login and password!
During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.