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I plan on getting "sidewalk nap" drunk tonight.
The difference between “like” “love” and “in love” is the same as the difference between “for now” “for a while” and “forever”
Basically the way it works is I tell myself I`m not going to eat too much and then I eat too much.
Mrs Bieber.... WHY U NO USE CONDOM?
Guys: Bet a female friend that she can’t touch her bellybutton with both elbows. Enjoy the view.
You are intriguing. You require further stalking, sorry I mean investigation.
I’ve been that, done that, had that, lost that, needed that and felt that. Just a few of the many reasons why I always drink to “that”.
I hate it when I think I`m buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they`re just REGULAR donuts...
Why is it when you have a day off you seem to bounce out off bed at 6am, but the days you go to work, it takes a forklift and 2 sticks of dynamite to separate me from my pillow??
Use Angie`s List if you want a plumber to come over. Use Craigslist if you want that plumber to come over with no pants.
?”Nobody listens to me….” – Yellow traffic light
Yes, I streaked once on a dare ... all the rest of the times though were just for fun
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon.
I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!