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When will vegeterians stop eating my food`s food??
I just apologized to my wife for something she did wrong. Marriage is fun.
Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`
was on the treadmill for over an hour and I must say it is much easier with roller blades
I’m not stealing my neighbor’s WiFi…their WiFi is trespassing into my house.
Too bad the little guy "Tattoo" from Fantasy Island isn`t around anymore. They could ask HIM where the plane is!
Installing home security cameras seemed like a great idea but explaining my dance offs with the dog was something I should`ve considered.
Thought for the day : Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
I hate when someone has a loud conversation on their cell phone and then gives me dirty looks for jotting down everything they say.
Most problems can be solved with nudity.
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
Next time some one does something REALLY stupid, just smack them and say, "Man, did you see the size of that bug?"
I`m not funny, I`m just kidding u
Jesus, take the wheel. Carlos, you take the stereo & I`ll take lookout.
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