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My boss hates "yes" men and I have to agree with him.
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
Finger Prints on Super Bowl Trophy to be used in dozens of criminal investigations
I`m all for the "going green" thing, but I just can`t bring myself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it’s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can’t really touch anything.
Momma left strict instructions to knock you out.
The hardest thing about returning to work after a long weekend is remembering to fart quietly.
Why did they send me to this white room? Do they think I`m crazy? Do they think I`m ...HOLY CRAP THE WALLS ARE FLUFFY!!!
why were you in my dreams again? i`m starting to think you`re stalking me.
Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a mans attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.
Two things you can always be certain about when it comes to women: 1) They`re always cold. 2) It’s somehow your fault.
On a scale from 0 to insane I`m batman
Of course I like you, I gave you that roofie didn`t I?
Every time I see an obese cop, a small part of me hopes he has to chase me.
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.