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I`ve disappointed a lot of people in my life, you`re not special.
All I`m saying is, China could have a much better relationship with the West if they shared their dragons with us. But, whatever, be that way.
I love my car. Without it, I would not be where I am today.
Marriage tip: Don`t
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
"I`ll let you know" = I need more time to come up with an excuse
Get real. No one’s going to form a single line if the building’s on FIRE.
The only time I hit the panic button on my car keys is accidentally, and the only person who panics is me.
I wish Monday was a figment of my imagination.
There`s a bald spot in my yard so I`m gonna let the grass grow around it really long and then do a comb over.
I came home one day all proud as can be with my report card and said to my Mom ,Look I got a B in reading , She said that`s a D you moron !
If you can make a woman laugh, you`re almost there. If you`re almost there & she laughs, now that`s a different thing.
You would think with all the ice water laying all over the world, it would be a lot cooler...
I`m so proud of myself, I spent all night putting my Christmas decorations up myself.. I`m now at the hospital having them removed
I used to like my neighbors until they changed the password to their wi-fi :)