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The IRS suggests filing early to reduce the chance that someone will steal your identity and file before you. Honestly, if somebody wants my identity so badly they`ll file my tax return for me, go crazy. You can mow my lawn while you`re at it, too.
Pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer.....me trying not to drop a child
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
Why even ask how my weekend was if you’re just going to interrupt me halfway through to say “Yeah, I saw your Facebook post.”
My new year`s resolution is to stop making new year`s resolutions.
So far, I`ve had exactly "call my ex" number of beers tonight!!!
It is possible to stay in your room all day and be perfectly happy.
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
The more I get to know you, the more I`m convinced that you are the sole inspiration behind many medications.
No one understands you better than some crazy weirdos on the internet.
Him: What to play Trivial Pursuit? Her: Sure, But I,m not that smart. Him: What to play strip Trivial Pursuit?
Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don`t worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
People be like: "Awe baby you make me so happy." But the second you break up they be like, "finally happy."