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I learn something new every day that I didn`t want to know.
Golf would be a lot more fun to watch on TV if the balls were on fire
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you would actually kill me.
If at first you don´t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
I hate when I drop my pen on the floor and it`s slightly out of reach so I leave it there forever.
Two of the most honest people in the world; drunk people and little kids
Does Starbucks have an express lane if your order is 10 words or less?
Men would be way more excited about cleaning if spray bottles made a laser noise.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
I got caught peeing in the swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted so loud I almost fell in.
If anybody out there happens to have my voodoo doll, can u please scratch my balls. I happe to be in a public place at the moment.
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
I`m not opposed to manscaping, but I don`t see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
I hate to rub it in, but lotion doesn`t really work otherwise.
You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!