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A synonym is a word you use when you can`t remember how to spell the other word.
How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
Going on a dangerous assignment. If I don`t come back, can someone please tell my girlfriend that I always found her laugh really annoying. Thanks.
This generation is guilty of making the wrong people rich and famous.
Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my wife threw at me.
I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top.
McDonalds ... closing thigh gaps since 1967.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Do I misuse contractions? Yes, but it`s what it`s.
Some of my friendships are bad for my liver.
It’s too bad that it’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
Some life lessons are so profound; you only need to do them one time. Putting Icy Hot on my balls, for example …
No matter how fast you run, the serial killer always walks faster.
I`ll sell my broken watch when the time is right.