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Dear children, when you look under your bed, what exactly are you planning to do when you find me? Sincerely, The Monster.
That horrible feeling you get when you`re not asleep anymore.
You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
Me putting up with you is your Christmas present.
Bending over ... preparing to do my taxes.
Republicans are red, Democrats are blue. The government is shut down cause neither one gives a damn about you.
Nothing ruins hump day like not getting humped.
I hate it when my cat leaves a dead Smart Car on my doorstep.
You`re exceeding the limits of my medication. Please go away.
I guess at a job interview "firing you" is not an acceptable answer when asked where I see myself in a few years.
To-Do List : Nothing[?]
If any of you have gotten any weird texts from me recently, its because my phone is working fine and I`m just trying to make you feel uncomfortable.
“That’s funny” is something I say when I can’t even fake a laugh.
I have tonight off so if anyone’s free let’s go somewhere and look at our phones together.