Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost a fortune in stamps.
If I truly posted what was on my mind ... I´d most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
I got this weird condition where I drink a case of beer and fall down.
Kids today are so coddled- Elf on the Shelf, Toy Story. In my day, if dolls magically came to life, they murdered you and everyone you loved
Burned almost a thousand calories with the elliptical machine today. Moved it into the basement, that thing is heavy!
My therapist says I am too preoccupied by vengeance.... We`ll see about that.
Just printed out 50 copies of today`s weather forecast to carry around with me today because I`m just not in the mood for small talk.
I wish my life had background music so I could figure out what the hell is going on.
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.
ever wonder if one day somebody will come knocking on your door and say “Hey we have 7 mutual friends on Facebook, can I come in?"
Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride
If you come up to my bedroom door and find a sock on the knob it means I`m having sex ... Probably with the other sock.