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cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
Please excuse me for talking while you were interrupting.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of a plane
You will never be happier than a girl who just discovered her dress has pockets.
Sports commentators need to stop saying penetrate
Adding "just sayin" to a smart-a$$ed comment makes you even more of an a$$hole. Just sayin
Life is like a box of chocolates and you`re on a diet so you can`t even enjoy it.
Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google and Wikipedia.
Old video games couldn`t be won. They just got harder and harder until you died. Just like real life.
3 words, 8 letters, easy to say, hard to prove... ..."I`m a zebra."
I wish I could commute by roller coaster.
This one time, I got trapped inside a couch cushion fort for like 47 days cause I forgot to put a secret door on it.
I`m not saying i hate you but if you were on fire and i had water i would drink it
LOSE WEIGHT FAST! Mix equal parts warm water, apple cider vinegar, & lemon juice toss that disgusting sh!t into a sink & get on a treadmill.
Before I stalk someone, I follow them around for a while...Cause you know, what if they`re not worth it?