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When you called me a b*tch, did you mean it as an insult or a compliment?
We live in the era of smartphones & stupid people
Hmmmm what should I buy myself for Valentines day.
Yeah, you go ahead and climb that mountain "because it`s there", I am going to eat this Pizza "because it`s here"................................
After months of uninterrupted analysis, I am now prepared to conclude that, indeed, my laundry is not going to fold itself.
I just want one spam email that`s like, "Congratulations! You have a perfect-sized p*nis."
Dear middle finger, Thank you for sticking up for me.
Who`s further now, the Energizer Bunny or Voyager 1?
Did I already do my deja vu joke?
Roses are Red Violets are Blue, If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
I wonder if there are birds that prefer not to sing in the morning and that just roll around in their nests until noon.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember all the things I was suppose to do.
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
Every time I see an obese cop, a small part of me hopes he has to chase me.
It should really be called teethpaste.