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According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
Stop dwelling on the past and start f*cking up the future.
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
I’m the kind of girl that would eat Doritos on her wedding day & accidentally wipe her hands on her dress.
Adulthood is like losing your mom in the grocery store for the rest of your life.
Holding my breath until someone likes this status.
My Living Will says it`s okay to pull the plug on me, but I`d like them to at least try jiggling it a few times first.
I`m a passionate supporter of things that don`t inconvenience me or require any type of action or physical effort.
The phrase "Go see your Ford dealer" means something completely different in Canada than the United States.
When I was a kid... No wait. I still do that.
I`m no cactus expert, but I know a pr!ck when I see one
If you can´t convince them, confuse them.
You don`t need to use your words if you`re carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.
Every time I see an obese cop, a small part of me hopes he has to chase me.