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I’d tell you what I’m doing but I’ve learned from other evil villains not to announce my plans first.
Peyton Manning saw his shadow this morning...that means six more weeks of bad Papa Johns commercials.
You have your whole life to be an a$$hole...are you trying to use it all up in one day?
If I procrastinated any harder right now, it would have to involve time travel.
It`s 2014 and somehow we still don`t have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
Winning isn`t everything. Rubbing it in the face of your opponent is also important.
Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.
Some people think I`m quiet, others wish I was.
I would offer moral support ... But my morals are questionable.
Office thermostats only have 2 settings: hell fire and hypothermia.
Life is like a teenager`s p@nis. some are short, some are long, but it is always hard.
If all the world´s a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
Don`t be that guy that goes around saying "Don`t Be That Guy."
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....
Lets just skip the fight and go right to the make-up sex.