Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why hasn`t anyone invented a button next to the snooze which emails your boss to say you`re gonna be late?
I helped my girlfriend with the dinner last night. I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
Today is the day I go back to the gym. Tomorrow is when I stop telling lies.
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
It`s amazing how the lowly potato gives us potato chips, french fries, and vodka. Get your sh!t together, every other vegetable.
I`m the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
My new year`s resolution is to stop making new year`s resolutions.
Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it`s up to you.
"Bros before hoes" is something a bro without a hoe would say.
Nothing stops a yawn faster than a dog trying to lick inside your mouth.
Accidentally ran over my neighbor’s cat today and I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying “Curiosity was here”
This strip mall certainly is misleading And I probably should put my clothes back on now.
There is no vulnerable feeling like when you are about to sneeze ... with a mouthful of rice.
I had a very confident breakdown today. ...Wasn`t nervous at all. ;)
If you’re keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you’re losing.