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I love my toilet. We`ve been through alot of sh!t together.
Happy President`s day all. Heading out to buy a new mattress.
A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
I wonder if Alex Trebek’s tombstone will say ‘Who was the host of Jeopardy?’
No heel is too high when pointed up at the ceiling.
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
My neighbour has diabetes and now she won`t make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me.
I took a nude photo of myself ... With the light off ... You`re welcome.
I don’t make mistakes too often, but when I do it’s your fault.
Why is it when I flush the toilet in the middle of the night, I have a feeling I woke up the entire neighbourhood?
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
The toughest part of a lesbian relationship is deciding who gets to be the one who`s always right.
Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride
You know that little thing inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn`t? ... Yeah, I don`t have one of those.
thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!