Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
America: Where stairs are only used for emergency escape purposes.
Alway be nice to anyone that has full access to your toothbrush.
Sorry I cut you off mid-sentence so I could sprint after an ice cream truck.
When I was your age, we had to walk 10 miles in the snow to get drunk and have sā¬x.
I read an actual newspaper today! For those of you who don`t understand, a newspaper is like the Internet but made of paper.
What kind of wine goes best with laundry?
"That was supposed to be a compliment." -Men
If I`ve offended you in the past, please accept my apology, and shove it up your a$$.
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
If I can`t convince you, I will sure as hell confuse you.
I automatically classify anything over $5 as expensive.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
It`s a bird.. it`s a plane..no wait..it`s a blade of grass....
*pulls shirt back down* I guess I don`t understand what a flash mob actually is.
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times.