Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess
Starbucks announced guns are no longer allowed in their stores. Seems crazy banks didn`t think of this.
My phone is covered in cupcake frosting and dried ice cream, in case you were wondering how my life is going.
My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn`t walk to the donut shop.
Maybe it`s inappropriate for the first date but if there`s a maze on the menu I`m asking for crayons.
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you’ve had?
Nobody notices your pain, your happiness, your sadness, your state of mind. But everyone notices it when you fart in public
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
Last night I meant to tell my kids "Good night, I love you", but it came out as "Thank god you go back to school on Thursday because this is bulls**t."
Respect your parents, they pay for your internet.
thumbs up if you pee on the side of the toilet to make it quiet.
I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.
Sometimes words are not enough. That`s why I always like to keep a baseball bat with me, just in case...
Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven`t pissed in 8 hrs