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When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become
I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon.
Sรถ รฎ hรจรฃrd รฟรดu lรฌkรช gรนรฟลก with รกcรงeรฑts?
Your selfie would be way better if you weren`t in it.
If anybody asks, I was on Facebook all night tonight, okay? Thanks for having my back, everyone.
To the untrained eye, I`m quite handsome.
I seem to start my day backwards. I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.
Vodka...deleting memories since...uhh...
I wish I could forget you as easy as I forget my passwords.
The same people that made fun of me for my calculator watch in high school are now wearing Apple watches.
Neighbors at it again. I do NOT want to know the words to "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus!
I`m so old, I remember when the internet didn`t have commercials.
All through school I assumed they saved the number 1 pencils for the smart kids
"Love your friends, Not their sisters." & "Love your sisters, Not their friends." -By Mummy...