Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
And we all have that one friend who has more blonde moments than an actual blonde.
How to create a weight-loss program: (1) Take a before picture. (2) Eat like a pig. (3) Take an after picture. (4) Switch the pictures.
On the subject of sex, my parents told me `the man goes on top, and the woman underneath.` No wonder I got divorced. For 3 years my ex-wife and I slept in bunk beds.
I just found out that a bucket of KFC when you`re finished with it, also doubles as a porta-potty...
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. 1. I don`t have a girlfriend.
Don´t call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious"
All my friends are getting married and having kids or getting really good at video games.
You look in good shape!!! Round is a shape isn`t it???
It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced “Haha, f*ck you!”.
You should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies you take.
My neighbor`s facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning.
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food.
Can I use my Mastercard to make my Visa payment?
A shake for breakfast. A shake for lunch. A sensible dinner. SEVENTY FIVE COOKIES AT 12:34AM