Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just got gas for $1.79... Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
I can`t believe it`s been a year since I didn`t become a better person....
I`d rather spend 5 minutes reorganizing the dishwasher, than spend the 10 seconds it takes to wash the dish that doesn`t fit.
Cops don’t like it when they tell you to put your hands up in the air...then you wave them like you just don’t care.
No need to thank me for accepting your friend request. We`ll both regret it soon enough.
Exaggerations went up a million percent last year.
Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail.
A boob job sounds like the best job in the world.
With my background and genetics, you guys should be happy I am half as normal as I am.
The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
I hate it when I`m trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera.
I`ve come to the point where I don`t even procrastinate anymore ... I just don`t do it.
The next person that tells me I have no shame…probably knows me pretty darn well.
If I have nosy neighbors, I always like to dig five 7 ft. x 3 ft. x 6 ft. holes in the back yard and every couple of days, Fill one in.
One fun way to describe Facebook is “imagine you are a mind reader in Walmart.”