Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive ..."Hi"
How do blind people know when to stop wiping their asses
I often worry that mankind is going to start World War III soley because we enjoy trilogies.
A penny for your thoughts. Five bucks if they`re dirty.
I liked you until you started ignoring me and then I loved you. -Girls ---- Bfanch
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
However lonely you feel, you`re never alone. [There are literally millions of bugs, mites and bacteria living in your house.] Goodnight.
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
Tip of the day: Don`t piss off anyone who has unlimited access to your toothbrush.
I`m currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening. It`s called b*tches and hoes
I don`t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it
So who the heck ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?
Don`t wait until you`re on your deathbed to tell people how you really feel because you could be too weak to raise your middle finger.
I doubt my inferiority complex is as good as everyone else`s
My motto for the night ... drink till I no longer think :)