Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A Lion would never cheat on his wife.. but a Tiger wood.
Guys... If the girl your getting down with doesn`t even have time to fake an orgasm..... It`s prob best you just make your sandwich
I think most of my friends hang out with me to see what Iβll say next.
I can read Spanish, Chinese, Russian and Italian. As long as it`s written in english.
Whatβs the answer to this question?
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
You make me feel "I`m-typing-this-with-my-middle-finger" angry.
Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Other times we just snuggle.
I bet my road rage will be taken seriously once I get a car.
There are only two types of honest people in this world.....small children and drunk people.
Instead of sending people to jail, we should just make them eat the stringy things off bananas..
if i get a friend request from you and your profile picture is a car i`ll asume your a transformer
I think they put less beers in twelve packs these days.
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on carpet, but only for like 20 seconds...
Best part of living alone...clothing optional ;)