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Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach the cookies.
I thought I was on the cash cab show! But turns out I was in a police car and cops hate trivia.
I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
That amazing moment when you smack the remote and it actually works!
I eat tacos over a tortilla so that way when stuff falls out Boom another taco.
My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
Be careful who you call friends. I`d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
So much to do and so few alibis.
Exercise makes you look and feel better naked ... But, so does Tequila
Take my advice, I’m not going to use it.
I don’t drink water, unless it’s been through a brewery first.
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait… Regular or Asian?
Thats it! I want to be re-inserted and I don`t want to remember a darn thing!
Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.