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I spend too much money on food to afford any diet program...
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI
My fantasy is having two women at once...One Cooking, One Cleaning.
www.amish.com. How did this happen?
Once I`m finished with this last container of Cool Whip, I will be the proud owner of a complete set of salad bowls.
I did 10 minutes of cardio this morning. I was still drunk from last night, and I was trying to tie my shoes but whatever.
Alex, I`ll take WTF for a $1000
If A-B-C-D didn’t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to be so rushed.
So this guy pointing a gun to my face was like: Your money or your life! and I was like: I`m on Facebook, I don`t have money or a life.
I`ve just been hit in the head with a werthers, and I thought........... That`s original!!!
This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
I wish Facebook wasn`t the only place I could block people from my life.
Ever notice how it`s never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes?
I`d totally order a salad bar. If it had lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, ketchup, mustard, hamburger and buns.
If you wear your old prom dress to the pharmacy, they`ll fill your antidepressants faster.