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They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
I wish I had a friend like me
My life`s paradox: I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant.
It`s not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick.
I wish "it`s the thought that counts" worked for housework.
No PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on Facebook.
this guy with binoculars has been watching me watch him with binoculars and i don`t know who`s winning
In space they just call it "Jam"
It`s only October 3rd and I`ve already beaten the sh!t out of two motion activated skeletons at store entrances.
Werewolves tend to transform only upon noticing a full moon already in the sky, implying the affliction is 100% psychological.
Staring longingly at the door works for my dog, but I tried it at work and no one let me out. :(
I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness.
Time to get Star Spangled hammered. Happy 4th you crazy Americans.