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I have something on my mind but I am not telling you, Facebook.
I’m better at remembering people who have bad breath than important historical facts.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing & they live for 150 years. Lesson learned
Why is it called a "personal trainer", instead of an "exercist"?
The longest yard for me is that space between me and the nacho dip
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
If you need me I`ll always be stuck behind the person who doesn`t know how to use the CVS self-checkout aisle.
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn`t what I thought it was.
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
It’d be hilarious to release a gorilla in a gorilla suit at the mall and see the look on security’s face when they pull off the mask.
The only hunger games i care about involve plastic hippos.
To a cop, doing donuts in a parking lot has a whole different meaning.
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.
How dumb is that family if Mrs. Doubtfire can fool them a second time?
It`s like my pastor always says, "Who are you and why are you stealing wine?"