Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
everybody has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and i`m just over here like `i love food`.
Bologna sandwiches are parents way of saying... it`s my legal obligation to feed you something.
I love to do housework in the nude. Unfortunately for the neighbours, today I`m roofing.
Somebody has to be awesome…might as well be me.
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I`d go to hell for.
People with 1 syllable names ruin the happy birthday song
If an officer asks “do you know why I pulled you over?” “Because it’s the only way to get girls to talk to you” is a bad answer, apparently
Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
My give a damn is busted! Parts on backorder....
I`m glad it`s the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the sh!t I should be doing.
More funny statuses will be posted here soon
I knew I was going to jail when I yanked at the cop pants and they didn`t tear away ..
Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my sh!t together & yet still insult me for being full of it?
Whoever said “There is nothing as precious as a child’s laughter” obviously never fell down a flight of stairs in front of his kids.
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?