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I saw a fat kid sitting on a seesaw all by himself. I stopped and waited for another kid to fall from the sky. I left disappointed.
The only time my wife will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground
Roses are red! violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Snot.
New word of the day: Stupidiot!!
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
I had the greatest bowel movement at 2am......unfortunately I woke up at 8am (<>..<>)
I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message.
I`m pretty sure there`s a chip in my car that turns all traffic lights RED...
Nothing says I have faith in God like the bullet proof glass on the Pope`s car.
I`d go to church if they had Wi-Fi.
It`s the little things in life that count, like pills.
Girls are supposed to dance. That`s why god gave them parts that jiggle.
Don`t sweat the petty things and don`t pet the sweaty things.
People who say they suffer from constipation are usually full of sh!t.