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If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke breaks a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
Flat screens are nice and all, but they`ll never compare to the television/record player/ liquor cabinet combo extravaganza we had as kids.
Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?
Your secrets are safe with me, because I probably wasn’t listening to begin with.
I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren`t there.
I slept on my neck funny and today I will be turning my whole body like Batman every time I have to look at something.
Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
If u think someone (me) is cute u should tell them (me)
This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
Time travel means never having to say you`re sorry...
Doing some laundry and hot single socks in my dryer are looking for a mate.
It’s amazing what I’m able to get done when I need to do something else.
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
I prefer to think outside the box because things can get very dark inside it.
Due to the rising cost of ammunition I will no longer be able to provide a warning shot. Thanks for your understanding.