Daily Silly Status

When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

My safe word is letsgetmarried.

I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.

I`m pretty sure my laundry breeds while I sleep.

I started to compliment my neighbors on their new wallpaper but then I realized they can`t hear me through binoculars.

if you were 2 times as smart as you are now ... you would still be stupid

U make me wish I had more middle fingers

My view on chocolate: God’s way of saying, “No hard feelings,” to those of us who aren’t getting any.

Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.

I`m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team

I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles... game on!

A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.

Here`s a fun idea: Before your next party or get together, buy some liver and other cuts of meat. Put them in clear containers and put labels on them with random names ("Clarice", "Richard", etc). Then put them in your refrigerator. For even more fun, put some empty containers beside the fridge with your friends` names on them....

If you`re crazy and you know it shake your meds...

My 5 year plan includes purchasing a Slurpee machine.