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I`m thinking about investing some serious cash in gold....or maybe some other color.
βWhy is life so hard?β β Me, trying to open a jar of peanut butter.
Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed were game requests?
Scientists uncovered the part of the male brain responsible for pissing off women. Itβs next to the part that knows how much roses cost.
I donβt cut in front of people whenever Iβm waiting in long line, thatβs rude. I just start dancing & grinding on them until they get all weirded out & leave. Works every time.
Gray hair is the human body`s equivalent of low toner.
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesnβt seem so bad now.
A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?
Dating these days must be so hard, because how do you know somebody loves you if they donβt make you a mix tape?
I`m Not Single. I am romantically challenged
Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
I bet all those girls that ignored me in high school would still be pretty pleased with that decision.
Home is where the pants arenβt.