Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How come the energizer bunny beats a drum instead of doing something like working the cashier register at Wal-Mart?
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
My wife gives me the speaking treatment.
Someone told me the camera adds 10 pounds and I was like why would anyone eat a camera you idiot?
I have an oven with a "stop time" button. It´s probably meant to be "stop timer" but I don´t touch it, just in case.
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.
A lie is just a great story that someone ruined by telling the truth.
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche.
I`ve made up my mind, I`m not giving up anything for Lent, I`m no quitter...
I hung a horseshoe above the door for goodluck ... My wife still came home ... Superstitions are stupid.
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
life is short play naked
some mornings i wish i could sneak up behind my alarm clock and say, "HOW DOES IT FEEL?!!"
I can’t believe that all these “single ladies in my area” want to meet me, must be due to all the “free Ipads” I’ve been winning.
To any ex-military that live on my street I apologize for whatever messages we may be sending, 2yo has discovered light switches