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Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons!! Enjoy the day
I know that no means no, but that`s about the extent of my Spanish.
I was an adult once. Then I opened a Facebook account.
What do you mean I didn’t win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else.
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.
If I`m guilty of anything, it`s loving too much. And several outstanding speeding tickets. But mostly loving too much.
Sometimes I STOP when it`s not even Hammer time
If adult diapers are called Depends, then baby diapers should be called Definitely!!
Police ordered me to get out of my car `You`re staggering` said the officer .`you`re not to bad looking yourself` I replied
“How are feeling today?” is a polite reminder that you were a mess the night before.
My girlfriend left the lights on, on her Smart Car last night. This morning I had to jump start it with my Android.
Unless you are selling Thin Mints, don’t ever knock on my door.
If offering people gum is cooking, then yes, I cook.