Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
According to my nipples, summer is over
I hate it when people beg for likes, like if you agree?
The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend.
Most people don`t think I`m as old as I am until they hear me stand up.
There’s nothing better than when someone you know walks by without recognizing you.
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
Swans mate for life...in case you were wondering what made them so mean.
drink beer ?? save water
It deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Tihs wulod not be psibsole if yuor sutipd. I hpoe for yuor skae you wree albe to raed tihs or taht maens yuor an idoit or barin dmagaed.
I had to go on two diets because one wasn`t giving me enough food.
PMS = Prepare to Meet Satan.
Seriously, it’s almost 2014, can we please get some waterproof phones? I would like to text in the shower.
To all my friends who sent me best wishes for 2013, for 2014 could you please send money, alcohol or petrol vouchers…Cheers!
If you get pulled over, ignore the cop and tell him that your mommy told you not to talk to strangers.