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Do you guys dance in the shower too? This morning I did the robot! (I short circuited and stared at the wall for 40 minutes, broken)
That awkward moment when you run into someone and there`s no where to hide
This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you’d be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.
I got up at 7:00 this morning .. lather rinse repeat ... How long do you have to do this for?
Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age.
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it`s like excuse me, I`m working here.
Instead of a selfie, you should take a someone elsie.
No thanks, marriage. If I wanted to stop getting laid I would just start wearing crocs.
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
So if a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should we trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
just want to point out that Cinderella is living proof that shoes can change your life!
Insanity workout? The fact I am even considering putting down my phone and getting off the couch is crazy enough, thanks.
When I think of all the money I`ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
Why can`t we just change the spelling to fit the way it sounds: Bologna = Bolony Lasagna = lasania knife= nife tsunami = sunami politician = a$$hole
Alice in Wonderland taught me to drink things that I`m unsure of