Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
I wouldn’t have to manage my anger, if people could learn to manage their stupidity.
Does Facebook offer a 401(k)?
The beauty of vodka is that it looks like water. The beauty of the workplace is that water bottles are allowed.
I handle stress the way cats bathe in water.
Sometimes, if you believe in something hard enough and deeply enough, nothing happens.
The Swiss must`ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off.
Hillybilly Word Of The Day.."Twerk"..."Welp, I`m done with lunch so I`d better get back twerk!"
Dear penis, thanks for not bleeding once a month. Sincerely, every man ever.
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait… Regular or Asian?
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
I bet you can`t keep the funny and not funny the same number.
Walmart...because going to Target requires identity theft protection and a shower.
If you ring my door bell you better be the pizza guy or a sexy naked lady ... with a pizza.